Meet the (Substitute) Parents

I follow and read a lot of parenting sites/magazines. As I read many of the articles, I have come to believe we have a shortage of grandparents in this country. Every parent writer seems to be reinventing the wheel at every turn. Where are their parents? Have these younger parents moved too far to call mom and get advice? Are they having kids when their parents are too old to even give sound advice? I have no idea but it’s clear to me that young parents in this country need some substitute parents.

I’m not talking about medical break through’s, or scientific discoveries that help us to know more about nutrition and child health, like what they should eat when, etc. I’m talking about good old, old fashioned grandparent help. Now I know there are lots of debates around styles of parenting and even the evolution of styles is because of tireless research by diligent clinicians on how children’s psyches are affected by various behaviors parents engage in. It’s great, I love it. I’m talking about your run of the mill parenting stuff that seems to (according to lots of the articles I’m reading) be non-existent. Seriously, someone raised you people, right? When they took you to a supermarket, how did they keep you from running wild, screaming through the aisles? Did they have to beat and embarrass you, did they just let you run wild, did they not have any tricks or techniques you could borrow from?

Seriously, the subject of some articles just baffle me. You needed an entire article to ask about how often to change bed sheets or to tell us why we shouldn’t be annoyed by your running, screaming 5 year old in Target because you’re just too tired to parent that day? Or having to pretend to enjoy spending time with your kids? Whaaaa? Do you people need substitute parents? If so, I volunteer. Seriously, hit me up in the comment section or on Facebook and ask me how to keep your five year old from running like a wild animal through Target, annoying the shit out of other shoppers. I have some ideas and some suggestions that with a lot of time and patience (i.e. you will be tired and often won’t get shit done) that have worked. And mommy shamers (and why the hell is that even a thing), don’t come on here like, oh you think you’re so much better than me because you had an easy kid? You think you have all the answers? Because no and no. But I do know many, many people with well behaved, polite children and they all do many similar things to achieve these results.

A lot of the stuff my mom did and told me are completely obsolete and annoying in this technology ridden time, I get that too. But whether it’s screen time or any type of play time, call your parent and ask them how they did it. Call your aunt or uncle. Hell, some of you parents aren’t even that old, so it’s not like your parents are in their 70’s and their advice is so obsolete as to be completely useless. And if you can’t call them for whatever reason, like I said, hit me up, I’ve got plenty more advice for you. And if you’re a mom with a bunch of well behaved kids, drop a comment with your best tip on how to develop polite kids.

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